The mind is a funny, funny thing.
Full of inter-workings and weavings that we have no understanding of, that are nearly impossible for us to comprehend.
It's funny how one little thought, one little inkling can cause so much havoc.
It's like a little jumping bean, or a hyper-active 4-year-old who doesn't want to take a nap.
It bounces around at such a rapid speed, like a pinball right off the lever.
It bounces and pounds on every surface possible until every corner, every surface space is tarnished and weary.
Yes, this is metaphor-ridden. But it seems to be the only way to get the point across.
This is also a rambling post. It might not make sense. Most likely it wont.
Once upon a time, I was a psychology major.
The brain fascinated me. It still does to this day.
I longed to understand this little pinball, this little jumping bean. To understand the thoughts that can so fiercely control a person's attitude, demeanor, their happiness.
But the fact of the matter is,
no one can ever completely understand. Not even yourself.
You are your own person. You are your own mind. There is no one else like you, nor will there ever be someone like you again.
I guess you could say that is uplifting and motivational. And it's true. It is.
But there is no way that one can truly understand the motive behind a thought.
Why they creep up on you. Why they are there. Why they are so adamant to hold residency within your little brain.
Each one of us has them.
A dreadful thought, a happy thought, a hope for the future, a longing for the past.
And with each person, the intensity of those thoughts are different.
They affect each one of us differently.
For we are different people, fighting different battles.
And expressing those thoughts and feelings in their complete magnitude is inexpressible in any language.
There really is something beautiful and heartbreaking in that.
The mind is a safe; there is no way we can fully tap into it.
And we will have to keep fighting ourselves until one day, the key is handed to us.
And we can look all those jumping beans straight in the face and ask them to keep it down and chill it out.
Emma, I really like this. A lot. It really is a funny thing. It's funny how we can't control it. But I was thinking about this the other day.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever shut something (painful) so out of your mind that you almost forget about it? Then, one day, something brings that painful memory out of the inner chambers of your brain. Then you have this whole string of emotions coursing through you, and all that happened was someone saying one little word, or you saw something that triggered it all. Hmmmm. I will never be able to figure out what is going on within me, let alone within everyone else.
I just rambled. Sorry 'bout it.
End ramble.